10 things Americans should know about Italy and Italians

If you are American and you are planning a vacation in my country, these are few basic rules that you should know:
1) How to recognize at a glance an authentic Italian restaurant?
In Italian language the Linguine (pasta) must be written with the "e" at the end and not the "i'
avoid like the pest all the restaurants who serve LinguinI. They are a scam, no exception!
The same with SalamE (and not Salami which eventually means the plural but sounds really odd)
2) What to drink at lunch or dinner?
if you want to order wine please follow this basic rule: with the fish you must (I said MUST) order white wine, no exeception. For all the rest red wine is ok. If you want to impress your guests order at the end of the meal a grappa (after the coffe) and you can drink it in the same cup of the espresso.
3) Never order in the same meal Fish and (Pork or Beef) Meat
If you really want to do so you must ask for a lemon sorbet for the transition to clean up your mouth to pass from a meat dish to a fish one (or vice versa). Please consider that in Italy the butcher can not sell fish and vice versa for who sells Fish.
4) Meat balls or Alfredo sauce don't exist in real Italian cuisine.
5) Italy is the most beautiful country and its food is the greatest by definition
Every Italian you will meet truly believe that Italy is the most beatiful country in the world with the best food . No exception. Please act accordingly if you want to be considered smart and cosmopolitan
6) The coffe that you are used to drink at starbucks is defined American coffee. Every Italian believes that it's shit ( few exceptions) . If you want something different from an espresso remember to order an American coffe. Of course in Italy It will be horrible. in Italy Starbucks is not present at all.
7) If you are in Napoli (Naples) and you are American, locals will assume that you like very much to be cheated. Also they believe that you welcome pick pocketing. They use an expression for you there :"cazzone americano"
8) People will love you because you are American. They believe that you are insanely naïve but definitely they will like you.
9) Even if you plan to visit only Rome or Florence or Venice, tell during your conversations with locals that you are going to visit places like Pienza or Lucca (out of touristic routes) and you will be considered a connoisseur.
10) Please do not visit The last supper in Milano only to check if one apostle was actually a female as stated in The Da Vinci code. The last supper is a master piece and does not deserve that

Voster semper Voster